Which wedding traditions should you follow and which can you do without?
We’ve all got a favourite category on Answers. Some of us like to discuss the latest footy match or the demise of our cricket team. Others like to ponder current events and there are many people who love to debate the pros and cons of their favourite celebrities. Sometimes our favourite category changes with our lifestyle. Newly pregnant? You’re probably pretty active in the Pregnancy subcategory. Just booked a big trip? I’m guessing you’ve been getting some advice from the Travel category. As for me, I’ve joined the hotbed of discussion, advice and excited planning in the Engagement and Wedding category. As a bride-to-be, the advice about everything from hairstyles to honeymoons has been invaluable and it’s fabulous to be able to share all my queries with such an active community.
One thing I’ve learnt is that there’s a lot of tradition that is associated with weddings and it’s quite the debate which traditions you should adhere to and which ones you can skip (without offending your Great Auntie Margaret of course). One of the most obvious traditions is the white wedding dress which most believe symbolises virginity. Actually it had nothing to do with purity – prior to the 1800′s women wore their Sunday best regardless of the colour. Queen Victoria, however, had some white lace that she wanted to wear so had her wedding dress made white to match. Her wedding portrait was widely distributed and as a result, it became fashionable in many high society weddings as only wealthy people could afford to have a dress in white that didn’t need to be worn again.
These days, the white dress is still popular however many are shunning it. One of the most popular questions in the wedding category is whether other colours are appropriate or should it only be worn for a second marriage? Can all girls can wear white or would ivory or cream be better options?
Actually much of the bride’s outfit is based on tradition. The veil? One theory is “during the times of arranged marriages, the bride’s face was covered until the groom was committed to her at the ceremony – so it would be too late for him to run off if he didn’t like the look of her!” Nice… As for the garter, it’s actually got a long history. It has long been considered that owning part of the bridal attire would bring good luck so prior to the 14th century, people used to try to rip off some of the bridal gown. The solution was for the bride to wear a garter so the groom could remove it and throw it to the male guests.
Most brides adhere to the ‘Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’ rhyme but what does it all mean? According to Rachelle_of_Shangri_La, it actually dates back to Victorian times. “Something old represents continuity with the bride’s family, something new is the bride looking to the future, something borrowed is a token borrowed from a happily married friend or relative in the hope that their happiness will be transferred to the new couple and something blue symbolises purity“.
These are only a few of the seemingly endless traditions you can follow when planning a wedding. What do you think – which wedding traditions do you think should always be followed and which can you forget about?
Caitlin
Community Manager
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i would follow the wearing of a white gown/dress for the bride but i don’t think its right to wreck the dress just so the groom can throw it to other guys, i will be finding something else to throw unless its my brides family tradition, 1 thing some would like to remove as a wedding tradition is the cake in the face(i think it only happens in america) but people can correct me if i am wrong,i have not heard of it happening in australia before.
Get rid of all the expensive hoo-hah..It’s all just man-made tradition..Who married Adam and Eve ,may I ask..??There was no church and no Minister to perform the ceremony..We should all just slap on a couple of fig leaves and eat oodles of fruit for the celebration..No apples though Ha ha
If I choose to get married again it will by under MY rules. I hate following traditions. It’s so old. You dont have to follow everyone else. What is wrong with making new traditions? or doing what you want. After all, it is the bride and grooms day and they can choose whatever they want.
I did away with the white dress and wore pink. I also had a very small ceremony, no bridal party and didn’t have anyone ‘give me away’. That one for me is one that I was very happy to reject, it probably applied when women lived with their family and were reliant on them until they got married, but if you’ve left home, are working, independent and in your late twenties it’s just too old fashioned now.
I like the tradition of marriage, but the actual ceremony isn’t that important, it’s what follows that day.
I don’t believe anyone SHOULD follow any tradition if they don’t want to.
My personal opinion is not to follow tradition at all and make it unique.
I’ve been to too many stuffy old fashioned weddings that drag on forever, the best ones have been the unconventional ones.
I think that the wedding depends on the person.
If they want a traditional wedding go for it, its your day and if you want an unique one then go for it.
But dont judge just because they want something different. Its not ur day its thiers.
I like the actual format of the bride’s father walking slowly down the isle to give the bride to her husband. Then later the rings are exchanged and they kiss. It is so central to a wedding, so romantic and lovely.
DONT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!woman are stupid and most dont know what they want in a man.
This ridiculous cost! Know of a couple who spent in total of $60,000….!!! what for?
Weddings are over commercialised, and are another excuse for consumerism going mad. The so called traditional weddings send people into debt and create all sorts of pressures and tensions. The best weddings i have been to have been in backyards or in sheep sheds on farms, or on boats.
if i marry again i will wear a yellow dress and dye my hair red and my wife can wear what she wants to.
I think if you have been married before you dont really have to follow anything. But if your wife is a virgin she is entitled to wear white. To go along with all the traditional things expected of. I think if I ever got married again I think that it would be neat to be married on a train. Any conductors out there with a reverend in front of his name? Just a thought food for thought anyhow.
I think the cake in the face should go, that’s just horrible. I have seen it on American movies and reality TV shows and other American (US) programmes, but I’ve never been to a wedding here in Australia and seen it happen.
The garter that gets taken off the brides leg by the groom and thrown to the men at the reception, should stay. The white dress for the Bride and nice suit for the Groom should stay. Weddings in churches or cathedrals or whatever they’re called should stay. (I was raised as a Protestant, but didn’t go to church as a teenager or adult, so I don’t know about religion now, lol).
I like free drinks at the reception afterwards. That tradition should stay. Everything paid for – for the guests. Can I say “for for” like that?
Anyway… …Staying a virgin before a wedding is no longer required or expected by realistic people. Um, “Here comes the Bride, all fat and wide…” that song should still get played when she comes down the aisle with her Dad, just to be handed to the next man to rule over her for the rest of her female life. lol Just stirring up the women.
Another thing that seems to be becoming a tradition, is divorce after a wedding. THAT SHOULD DEFINITELY GO!!!
I agree with the last comment (written by “My name is”) and like his/her sense of humour too. Good opinions.
I think the cake in the face should go, that’s just horrible. I have seen it on American movies and reality TV shows and other American (US) programmes, but I’ve never been to a wedding here in Australia and seen it happen.
The garter that gets taken off the brides leg by the groom and thrown to the men at the reception, should stay. The white dress for the Bride and nice suit for the Groom should stay. Weddings in churches or cathedrals or whatever they’re called should stay. (I was raised as a Protestant, but didn’t go to church as a teenager or adult, so I don’t know about religion now, lol).
I like free drinks at the reception afterwards. That tradition should stay. Everything paid for – for the guests. Can I say “for for” like that?
Anyway… …Staying a virgin before a wedding is no longer required or expected by realistic people. Um, “Here comes the Bride, all fat and wide…” that song should still get played when she comes down the aisle with her Dad, just to be handed to the next man to rule over her for the rest of her female life. lol Just stirring up the women.
Another thing that seems to be becoming a tradition, is divorce after a wedding. THAT SHOULD DEFINITELY GO!
As someone who is newly seperated im anti marriage at mo, but when i did get married i did do the traditions and that was because i wanted too. But if i have another wedding in my future, its going to just be a quick cermony at home followed by dinner/party for loved ones or like my best friend’s wedding, they went away for a week with their children, got married and had a bbq to celebrate with family and friends when they got back.
Traditional wedding is important in country, it give garrantee to lasting relationship and gives some respect to male canterpart. therefore, in Liberia, we perform our traditional wedding before getting into the western wedding.
The ceremony isn’t that matters but the committment to your partner.
Your wedding is what you make it yourself – follow any traditions that you wish but put your own spin on them. All of the time though remembering that there will be older relatives present who do have certain expectations. Above all don’t get into debt.
I think the bucks and hens nights should go. Really they doom a relationship to mistrust and other problems before they start and the pranks played on the groom are not only dangerous but also criminal. I like the idea a friend used. The couple invited all their friends to a party and when the guests turned up, there was a celebrant and they were all told that they were there to witness a wedding.
PS. The whole point of getting married is to commit your love to someone. It’s not to have a stripper sit on your lap naked or try to seduce you and definitely not to have your so called idiot mates tie you naked to a street lamp or send you drunk in a crate over seas. These things all show how society really disrespects marraige.
I would do without all of them ! Marrige is outdated and overrated its very costly and just a pain I speak from experience haha ! The money spent on useless dresses and hire cars and receptions etc etc and that can run into thousands if not tens of thousands could be better spent on a family home and the future education of your children !
The biggest problem in marraiage is money or the stress of keeping it all together take that pressure off and if two people love eachother than a piece of paper isn’t going to make any difference is it but the the financial freedom will !
I would get rid of the “tradition” that states every bride and groom must feel pressure to conform to everyone elses expectations.
My husband and I asked our immediate family to join us interstate for a beach wedding, we then had a bbq to celebrate with everyone else when we returned from our honeymoon. Boy oh boy did we put some noses out of joint for not having a traditional ceremony and inviting everyone in the extended family.
Mostly it was the older realatives who were highly annoyed. But at the end of the day – so what?! We did what we wanted to do and it’s none of anyone elses business how you choose to celebrate your committment to each other. As long as the bride and groom are happy everyone else can STFU.
It took about 4 months for our extended family to get over it, but they did.
This is the advice I pass to all future brides (and grooms) do NOT let anyone influence your day. People will get their knickers in a twist but they get over it. (even your grandparents).
if it was a family tradition of the bride to get a pie or cake in the face then i would respect that but i would be very nervous about doing that if my relatives were around,i don’t think there are/were any traditions for weddings in my family
After reading this I have realised that we are not following any traditions at all. In fact we kind of seem to be boycotting them. I am wearing an orange/coral gown, not wearing a veil, not having a garter, not doing a first bridal dance, and not doing a bouquet toss. We are having photos taken first, then having an evening wedding followed immediately by a cocktail/mocktail party. None of my extended family or my friends bar a few know what colour I am wearing. I think it will be a nice surprise. I am glad that a lot of pointless tradition has been taken out of weddings. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that majority of brides and grooms pay for their own weddings and can therefore overturn any ideas that their parents and family may have.
In saying that, my family that DO know what I am wearing thinks its great and agree that it would seem strange if I wore a bland white/ivory gown seeing as I’am such a bright colourful person.
As posted above my advice to all brides is to stand your ground and do whatever you choose for your wedding. Whether it be traditional or non, it’s you and your partners day, so do it all your way
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This site rocks!
Cool site, love the info. I do a lot of research online on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,
A definite great read…
- Bill Bartmann
Great information, never knew that about the white dress. If I knew it was to do with Queen Victoria I wouldn’t have bothered wearing one. I think the whole wedding thing has gone a bit too far, costs and tradition has resulted in them being very similar. Love weddings where something crazy is planned but so rarely happens.