You may have noticed there has been a little extra assistance in the Family and Relationships section recently. Yahoo!7 Answers now have an Aussie based relationships Knowledge Partner to help out the lovelorn of Answers in the mystical world of dating and relationships. Coined ‘The Love Coach’, Carolin Dahlman, is the face behind the name and is thrilled to be joining Answers.

Who is ‘The Love Coach’?
I am Carolin Dahlman. I’m 35 years old, I was born in Sweden and now live in Sydney. I am the author of 5 books.

How do you help people?
I do one on one coaching. I analyse my clients to see what they need to change to get more control over their love life. What can they do, think or be to reach their goals? I ask questions to make them see the answers from within and develop. I push, give energy and create self awareness.

What made you want to help people with relationships & love?
I have always wanted to do something meaningful. It took me into politics for 20 years, but now I can still work to create happiness but in a more positive way. I love my job.

What’s an example of how you’ve helped someone?
I have successfully coached several people who have been tired and bored in their relationship to find energy and passion towards life and their partner again. I have made people more aware of what they have been doing wrong, so that they now are able to change.

If you could choose 5 words to describe you, what would they be?
Analytic, warm, energetic, happy, honest

So whether you’re dealing with an ex-partner, hoping to get a new one or need some help with the relationship you’ve got, The Love Coach is on hand to answer your questions. And in coming weeks, we’ll have even more great Knowledge Partners to give expert answers to your questions in many other areas of life. Stay tuned!

Caitlin
Community Manager

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When I read this story the other day that Australian couples spend an average of $49,000 on their wedding, I was really shocked. After all, that sort of money isn’t far off the average annual wage of an adult Australian and is a pretty sizable deposit on a house. And aren’t we in an economic downturn?

Well there is a lot to pay for. There’s the cost of the diamond ring, the engagement party, invitations, the bridesmaid’s dresses, the wedding dress, buying or hiring the suit, the reception venue, hiring the church or celebrant, the photographer, music, the wedding bands, hair and makeup, flowers, the gifts for the bridal party, the favours, the honeymoon… phew! I’m feeling broke just thinking about it.

But does it really need to be $49,000 or can you get away with it for a lot less? This topic is a hotbed of discussion on Answers. All our experienced brides are on hand to give their tips on organising a fabulously frugal wedding.

• Where can I get Bridesmaid dresses in Australia online for under $250?
• My fiancé & I are planning a wedding for May 09 on a $5000 budget with 50 guests. Is this impossible?
• Should I do my own hair and make up on my wedding day to save money?
• What are some cheap and casual engagement party ideas in Sydney?
• How much is too much to ask people to pay on a Hens night?

Do you think it’s possible to have a nice wedding for under $49,000? How much do you think is reasonable to pay for a wedding in Australia?

Caitlin
Community Manager

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One of the great things about the Answers community is that you never know who could be answering your question. It could be a kindly elderly woman in the suburbs of Perth, a hip teenager on the streets of New York or a middle aged Singaporean businessman. At any time of the day or night you gain a variety of opinions from different people with entirely unique backgrounds and views on life.

Many users on Answers don’t come for recipe tips or to discuss the economy. They’re looking for advice on something a lot more complex – matters of the heart. We’ve all been there; we’ve wondered about whether our crush returns our affections and how we should respond in different romantic situations. It doesn’t matter how old or experienced you are, love is a complicated emotion and sometimes you just need some independent advice to help you see straight.

That’s where this week’s featured user, ♥♥LOVE GURU♥♥ comes in. He’s a 29-year-old writer/journalist with a top contributor rating in the Singles and Dating sub category. In under a year, he’s managed to get 760 best answers from a total of 1353 answers, giving him a 56% best answer rate.

While ♥♥LOVE GURU♥♥’s background is in computer programming, he has attained a bachelor degree in Electronic Media Communications and minors in Sociology, Geology and Women’s Studies. This is perhaps where his interest in giving advice came from. ♥♥LOVE GURU♥♥ writes a weekly advice column and is working on a book about relationships, health, sex and dating. He finds Answers to be a great place to try out his advice before he uses it elsewhere.

So what inspires his answers to the lovelorn?

I draw from my own experiences, my education, and common sense. That last one is pretty important. Sometimes the best thing you can do, is just use a little common sense. Often, rather than just provide advice, I’ll rephrase the person’s question in a new way, and they’re able to help themselves. Often, we know what we should do, but the situation is just really confusing. It just takes someone to either agree with you, or help you look at it in new way.

♥♥LOVE GURU♥♥ finds he often is giving advice to young people who are just beginning to date as they often have many questions and want straight answers. He says:

Of course, I’m careful to not be obscene, but I do draw from both my sociology, behavioural, women’s studies and reproductive biology background to try to answer their questions. I’m careful not to talk down to them, but I try to use language that they’ll understand. It doesn’t do any good to talk down to people, because they tune you out.

♥♥LOVE GURU♥♥ has also found that some questioners are curious to know more about human behaviour. They don’t just want to know how to improve their relationship situation, but also why different people react in different ways.

A common question I get is, how do you ask someone out? It really bugs me to see all these short responses people leave, like, “You just ask them.”  Well, that doesn’t really help them.  So, I like to go into a little more detail.  Again, I keep things conversational, but I provide scripts, examples and biological explanations for why someone may have difficulty speaking to someone.  Oh, I know, it sounds way too complex to provide biological explanations, but the emails and IMs I’ve gotten tell me different.  People like hearing why they are, the way they are. They like hearing they are not alone.  They like hearing there is a biological, psychological, sociological and even anthropological reason for why they’re behaving the way they are. When we start to understand our behaviour, we can actually do something about it. When we receive scripts to follow, hear examples of how others have overcome this problem and get real detail, then and only then can we do something about it.

Next time you’re having a relationship crisis, you’ll know where to turn!

Caitlin
Community Manager

PS Know someone who’s “wow-ed” you on Answers? Think somebody deserves to be celebrated as the next Featured User on the Answers Blog? We want to hear from you! Leave a comment below with a link to the user’s profile or best answer, or email the Answers team at: y_answrs_team_au@yahoo.com.au

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I recently attended a wedding, which to be honest, isn’t all that unusual these days. I actually can’t remember who half the girls are in my facebook friends list because they’ve all changed to their married names and I don’t remember what they are. The unusual thing about this wedding was that it was in London and involved a mixed English/Australian couple.

What’s so unusual about that, I hear you ask? Mixed couples happen all the time and Aussies and Brits aren’t all that different. Well that is true, however there are more differences in a British wedding ceremony than I actually thought there’d be.

For one thing, did you know it’s traditional for an English wedding to serve a fruit cake? At this wedding we were served cupcakes and also a fruit cake, which I thought was a little strange until I read dlcarnall’s reasoning:

Traditional English wedding cake is a fruitcake, usually made with raisins, ground almonds, cherries and marzipan. The top layer of the wedding cake is called the “christening cake” which the couple is saves for the baptism of their first child.

The fruitcake is served at the wedding reception along with another traditional cake — the groom’s cake — which originated during the Tudor period. It was once English custom for this to be a fruitcake as well, but today, the groom’s cake is likely to be chocolate. More

The other noticeable difference was seeing women in fascinators and hats, which is apparently not a strict tradition anymore but definitely still embraced by some. Also there were some men in tartan kilts, not something you’d usually see at an Aussie wedding but is quite common for a Scot at a formal ceremony such as a wedding.

It made me think about the wedding traditions we take for granted that may not be as prevalent in other countries.

There are a few differences with American weddings it seems. Although it’s quite common to have a Bachelorette Party (Hen Party), American brides also have the added benefit of a shower, which apparently involves women getting together, giving presents and playing a few games. So many presents! There’s also that other American tradition of the groom throwing the bride’s garter, however it doesn’t seem to be something that Australians have embraced, I have never seen that tradition in an Aussie wedding.

The role of the Master of Ceremonies seems to differ from country to country. Apparently in Britain it isn’t too common to even have an MC, but in American, the Master of Ceremonies also has to entertain the guests and tell jokes, according to Dana B.

British weddings tend to go longer than in other countries (something I definitely found). According to Princess, it can go for 12 hours or longer:

They are longer, it will be noon til midnight or later- there is usually a ceremony, drinks reception, 3 course dinner in late afternoon & speeches, then evening party with drinks, dancing and a buffet- it will be noon to midnight basically. More

Then of course there are the wedding rings. According to AnswerQueen, the hand your wedding is on is determined by your religion, not your country

Christian Orthodox wear the wedding ring on the right side, as the right hand is always viewed as the more important, they also do the sign of the cross right first then left. While Christian Catholics wear it on the left and sign the cross left then right. More

While I love a good Aussie wedding, one ceremony I’d love to experience would be a wedding in India. It sounds like they really know how to celebrate!

What are the most different wedding traditions you’ve observed in other cultures?

Caitlin
Community Manager

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The US TV show Sex and the City introduced us to Cosmopolitan cocktails, brought Manolo Blahnik shoes into mainstream vocabulary and had the whole world talking about the adventures of Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte.

The creators of the show certainly had to know the ins and outs of sex and dating, and one of the writers, Liz Tuccillo, transferred that knowledge into the best selling book “He’s Just Not That Into You”. She was featured on a range of US television shows talking about how to spot the signs that a man wants out of a relationship.

Liz is visiting Australia this week and has joined Answers to ask for your help as she researches her latest book on “How to Be Single”. She’s already posted three questions about Australia’s bachelors and whether they’re worthy of an Aussie girl’s attention. I’m sure lots of us ladies will have some tips for her!

Clea

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